O, Mother, Where Art Thou? - God Is Better Than We Think She Is, Part 1

What do Mrs. Doubtfire, Mama God, and the Holy Spirit have in common?

By Anni Ponder

“Her disappearance was a sham

a story developed by men throughout history

men who coveted because you know

if God is male the male is god.

She never left Her place in heaven

or Her place on earth.

Only Her name was stolen.”

~Carol Lynn Pearson, “The Case of the Disappearance of God the Mother”

I have an ache in my heart.

It’s an ancient longing, though I’ve only just awakened to it.

From what I can gather, I’m not the only one. So many folks I’m in conversation with lately have told me they’re experiencing the same yearning. Perhaps you are also.

I’ve heard it called many things, but the term that seems to fit the most for me is “The Mother Wound.”

Know what I’m talking about? The nagging, undeniable feeling that something has been missing from our picture of God. The desire to connect with the feminine. The questions about all the masculine imagery and the lack of its feminine counterpart. The deep sadness at the state of our world, and the profound longing to see harmony and balance restored.

Do a little searching, and you’ll find people all over feeling this pull. Sometimes they talk about it in hushed tones, worried they’ll be thrown out on their ear for asking too many questions, but always it seems to come from the deepest place: Are we a people without a Mother? Where has She gone?

“I’m here, guys. In some form.”

The other day I re-watched Mrs. Doubtfire. I had seen it long ago when it first came out, but recently I remembered a scene I wanted to revisit.

Recall the film? In case you haven’t seen it, or it’s been a while, here’s the gist: it’s the story of a loving father, played by Robin Williams, who desperately wants to be with his children, but his estranged wife won’t allow daily visits. A talented actor, he dons a costume of an elderly British woman and secures a job as their nanny. Every day, he is right there with his children, only they don’t know it’s him.

My favorite moment is when the children, missing their father, are walking up the stairs to do their homework as Mrs. Doubtfire looks on.

“I miss Dad,” says one.

“Me, too,” says another.

“Me most,” says the littlest one.

The camera zooms in on Mrs. Doubtfire’s face. You can just feel the angst of this father as he is aching for his children to know he has not abandoned them. In his own voice, too quietly for the children to hear, he says, “I’m here, guys. In some form.” 

Watching that scene, I felt hot tears on my face. What if this is the case with God Our Mother? What if She’s been here all along, but we just haven’t recognized Her? What if the mysterious Holy Spirit we worship but don’t understand is actually the Divine Mother? What if She’s had to accept masculine pronouns in order for us to include Her, because we were a people of the Male, and could not fathom She-worship? 

The tears traced down my cheeks. Yes! Yes, our Mother has been here all along! She has not abandoned us, but has done everything She could to be with us, even if it meant going along with our delusions about Her very nature! 

I know how this idea sits with orthodox Christianity. It’s way outside the bounds. If you’re reading this from within the fold, and wondering if you’ll be excommunicated for entertaining such thoughts, take heart. Didn’t Jesus say following Him would be hard and we’d get in trouble with the authorities? But He also said it would be worth it. And He said He’d be with us the whole time.

“A little digging . . . will reveal plenty to make you wonder about the Holy Spirit.”

Actually, the idea of God Our Mother is not as heretical as you might have been told. A little digging into the Hebrew and Christian scriptures will reveal plenty to make you wonder about the Holy Spirit. For instance, in the Hebrew, the word for Spirit is Ruach, and it’s mostly a feminine word. Then there are the metaphors: God birthing us, God sheltering us as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings (Jesus’ words, by the way), God nursing and sustaining us. In addition, some aspects of God, like Sophia and Shekinah, are feminine, too. If you’re up for a real treat, look into the Hebrew meaning of El Shaddai. It’s way better than our English translations suggest.

I’m not a trained scholar, but something deep within me keeps nudging me toward this. I can’t get enough of Mama God. I’ve been starving for Her.

But now that I think about it, that’s a bit like dying of thirst while swimming in a freshwater lake.

Never, for a moment has She left us. Like Robin Williams’ character, She’s done everything in Her power to be with us. It’s now up to us to open our eyes and see what’s been all around the whole time.

One of the two core beliefs I hold is that God is better than we think She is. I say that with the feminine pronoun because I want to highlight Her gift to us, not because I want to downplay God the Father or Jesus. I’ve talked with Them plenty about this, and so far They don’t seem to mind my focus on Her. In fact, all I hear from Them about this is that They’re so delighted I’ve finally realized She’s here in the first place. (Side note: I am fully aware that all the talk about the gender of God could be foolishness—maybe gender is simply a metaphor and God is above and beyond pronouns altogether. However, I need to focus on the femininity of God right now. It is soothing an ache and a longing within me. Perhaps one day I will grow out of gendering God and simply be One together. But for now, this language is enormously helpful to me, as I hope it may be to others.)

Back to God being better than we think. Are you up for a little thought experiment? If you hail from a faith that holds to God’s eternal goodness, you might ask yourself: Can I out-imagine God’s goodness? In other words, are you able to conjure up a picture of God that is better than the One you believe actually exists?

I cannot.  From what I know of God (or sub in the word Love if that’s better for you), there is no limit to Her goodness. There isn’t a way for me to out-imagine, to out-think Her benevolence. I cannot fathom something better than God. In fact, when I try, I have to laugh at myself a little: Was I trying to go beyond God’s goodness just now? Impossible! Wherever my mind goes, Her goodness has beaten me to it.

And so, this leads me to God’s femininity. For me, an ultimately good God would never be one-sided or single-gendered. There is simply too much beauty in femininity for it to be excluded from ultimate goodness. 

I’ve been longing for my Heavenly Mother. I’ve been on the hunt for Her, and I am not coming home empty. Instead, what I’m finding is fulfilling beyond the power of words to describe. 

Does that strike a chord with you? Have you ever wondered about Mother God? Have you felt a deep desire to know that femininity is also Godly, also holy? Is there a part of you that just wants your Mama?

I hope so. Keep seeking, my friend. She’s out there, and also within. And from what I can tell so far, She is absolutely magnificent.