Into the Woods — God Is Better Than We Think She Is, Part 5
Have you ever felt beckoned deep into the forest?
By Anni Ponder
“She is a wild, tangled forest with temples and treasures concealed within.”
When I was in elementary school, my beloved teacher Mr. Nick often encouraged us to write short stories. Sometimes, he would give us a prompt—write about your favorite outfit or the prettiest place you’ve ever been—and sometimes it would be a true free-write. No matter the topic, most of the time, my stories would end up resembling each other, following the same arc: me, walking into the woods at night, either alone or accompanied by my faithful dog Licorice.
I recall feeling fear as I envisioned stepping into the cool of the moonlit forest, but I knew I had to keep walking. There were, of course, all sorts of sounds of the night: owls hooting and hunting, mice scurrying to the safety of low branches, the occasional too-close-for-comfort howl of a wolf. But there was also another sound, one I wasn’t quite conscious of. Did I hear, like I do now, a faint and beautiful song? Could I make out the voice of Someone both far and near, calling me further up, and further in? Shuddering with fear and cold, I would wrap my arms all the tighter around my frame and will myself to press on: No matter what, I must keep walking.
The pull was undeniable.
I didn’t know it at the time, but what I was writing was more than likely the yearning and call for me to travel deep within my own self. Now, having studied and learned so much about the Heroine’s Journey and the urge within us to explore our own depths, I look back on these fantasies my mind offered up and I smile. Even in my late childhood and early adolescence, I felt Her calling. Because if you read anything at all about the Divine Feminine, one thing will rise to the surface rather quickly: She Who Has Always Been calls to us, not from without and above, but from within, where She dwells—inviting us ever more inward, like a fibonacci staircase. And so I can reflect on my stories with gratitude and awe: Mama God has been calling me all along!
I don’t know about you, but if you identify as Christian, this suggestion might elicit any number of queasy objections initially: But, the Holy Spirit, whom we say dwells within us, is never referred to as our Mother. How can you say differently? And how can you know that was the voice of God from within? Mightn’t it have only been your childish imagination? Aren’t we told to be on guard about such fanciful ideas, lest we be led astray?
My friend, I assure you, I have wrestled with all these and more. It is not part of my native landscape to suggest we break all the rules and go our own way—at least, not usually. I’ve of course looked at this from many angles, turning over all the theological points I can find, viewing them from the lenses of scripture, community, and my own experience. So far, a few years into my epiphany about the Holy Spirit being our Divine Mother, I have found many helpful and encouraging supports on the topic from excellent theologians, storytellers, and poets like Wm. Paul Young, Matthew Fox, Carol Lynn Pearson, and Daneen Akers. My tour of scripture’s references to the femininity of the Holy Spirit has been like digging up buried treasure, and it just keeps getting better. And of course, my own private experience with Her has been both life-giving and breath-taking.
However, I’m not here to try my hand at convincing anyone who can’t fathom such a thing. It isn’t my goal to set up a debate podium and demonstrate Her existence any more than I’ve ever felt compelled to take on Richard Dawkins or Sam Harris and prove once and for all that God exists. Perhaps there are other braver and more educated souls who will do this for us all. My calling, it seems, is to keep telling stories about Her, to keep having conversations with others who have encountered Her (did you happen to catch my latest podcast with Wyn Doran?), and ask questions that allow for the Spirit’s mystery to move and stir our hearts.
So.
What do you think? Have you ever needed to wander into the forest alone, feeling pulled there by some unseen hand?
Perhaps, might it be time to avail yourself to the mighty Mother, the One who loves to tuck Her children under Her wing, the God who gave us birth?
I trust you will keep hearing Her song. If I can be of any assistance to you as you keep wondering and seeking, I would be honored to walk a while with you on the path. Reach out and let me know how the journey is going. After all, it is always sweeter with a companion along the way.
